What our spaces say matters. Our needs & the art of nonviolent communication

By: Marjory Mejia

woody elemetnal of love

I love this elemental spirit I found in wood. There is so much love within and around us, waiting for us to tap into its frequency.

I have been meditating on the ability of space to meet our needs. At one point or another along our development as kids, we were quite vocal about our needs. There was no shame. There was beauty in expressing what was true for us. After all, our need for love is no less important than our need for food or water. But voicing our needs made us feel vulnerable, exposed, raw, needy. Mistaken for signs of weakness, we soon learned to silence them.

What we say & space matters

How do we unlearn the damage, or better yet, how do we learn from it and move on to become better communicators? Here is my latest post on evolving language & space making. Earlier this year I read a transformative book, What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication, and I realized something, that I get to witness the incredible and miraculous benefits of this practice through my work.

We can all remember if we wish, to better communicate with our spaces, and in turn, to better communicate with ourselves and each other. This is a great book for transforming the verbal and nonverbal ways in which we communicate and claiming our agency. It offers another more ‘feminine’ approach to healing our communication based on giving and receiving compassion, more skillfully.

“The thesis of this book is that what we say matters— that is, when we speak, we change the world.” ~ J.H. & I.K. Lasaster

Our needs. Space as catalyst

All human needs are the expression of life’s energy flowing through us. Needs are the very thing that connect us to life itself. When we become aware of our needs and the needs of others and long to meet those needs, we are honoring the sacredness of life. ~ J.H. & I.K. Lasaster

We can bring awareness to patterns that become visible, palpable, evident not only through speech but through space as well. Your space can help you become aware of this sacredness. You can come into a conscious relationship with your space by acknowledging its intelligence, befriending it, reealizing its potential nature as ally in the discovery and expression of your deepest needs.

  1. Don’t have a clue? Look around your space, let it become a mirror of your soul. It is not done overnight. Patience dear ones.
  2. What are your needs? Do you long for belonging, intimacy, solitude, creativity, aliveness, the expression of your soul, connection with nature & cosmos, a magical conversation with life? Got plenty of gremlins but can’t reconnect to your needs? Click here to read about a practice that gently uncovers them.
  3. Express your needs in your space. To open the lines of communication with our environment, we have to do our homework, discover our real needs and express them. I’m not talking about the wants that are packaged as needs by the mass media (ie bigger is better). Your needs are not the ones you were told were yours, nor the ones you submitted to and made your own.

Your needs are the ones coiled up at the bottom of your heart, asleep, yearning to come alive and bring you alive.

Communicating with our environment

We have forgotten the ancient art of communicating with our environment. I personally feel the calling to reawaken this lost language. Life is always in a state of communication, whether it knows it or not. This is just a call to evolve and make our communication more conscious, truthful, expansive, sustaining, compassionate, loving, illuminating. I have added: [and spaces] to the following quote, because this practice of awareness applies beautifully to space.

Using speech as a spiritual practice is the act and art of bringing a deeper awareness to our words [and spaces] so they not only connect us with ourselves but also reflect what is truly alive in us. When we do this, we help create the kind of world we want to live in and leave to future generation, because then our words [and spaces] promote life. ~ J.H. & I.K. Lasaster

When we acknowledge our needs and transform spaces of neglect into thriving places, we begin to heal and reveal the wholeness of life. We begin by offering some kindness and empathy to ourselves on a daily basis and extend this love to our environment, our dwellings, our spaces. This can look differently for each one of us. For me, it entails remembering to be patient, to slow down and be reverent with everything that I touch, to bless the earth with every step I take, to see my space and the earth through the eyes of my body, my heart, my soul.


Imagine for one moment a place that nourishes, inspires, feeds your soul, cradles your dreams, awakens your senses, focuses your energy, protects & expands you, connects you to nature & cosmos. A space that sees you as sacred. A space you love.

A space that fulfills is not a luxury, not something you find on a magazine spread you are made to covet, or something that happens after you reach your cash goals and retire; a soulful space of your own is something your soul needs to unfurl, gifts and all.

In the spirit of flow,

Get flowing!

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Oct 8, 2012
Categories: writings